Thursday, November 08, 2012

Up the Down Staircase

"The ancients were people, yet also animals. In form some looked human while some walked on all fours like animals. Some could fly like birds; others could swim like fishes. All had the gift of speech, as well as greater powers and cunning than either animals or people." - Oakanogan Legend, Creation of the Animal people

The Call to Shamanic Spirituality
"I feel the tug of the homing signal.
I feel you calling in the song of the stream.
I feel you calling in the shadow cast before me as I walk
 and by the Sun behind me warming my back.
I feel you calling in the wind that caresses my face.
I feel you calling in the sound of my feet
walking on Sacred Mother Earth.
 I feel you calling in the hummingbird-shaped cloud
 hovering in the sky overhead.
What are you calling me to, asked I?
Life, answered you."

- Black Elk

The word "shaman" translates to mean one "who sees in the dark."  In more traditional forms of shamanism the shaman does not choose his path. It is either hereditary or the spirits choose the shaman through marking him in some way. This marking was usually an animal attack or an illness which brought the shaman to deaths door. The thought is that by tasting death and returning back, the shaman would return with knowledge and powers from the spirit world. It was a blessing for the spirits to bring a person to their very doors to give them this power.

Once on the path, the shaman must work with these powers they are given in this world and the spirit world. Their sacred duty is to venture back and forth as a messenger to both sides. For this men go to them for advice, for this the spirits give them wisdom and come to their aid. The understanding of life and death and the importance of both predator and prey is integral to being a shaman.

I have been on a very painful journey to heal myself of my fear of death.  I have been severely wounded and have been unable to voice anything. Still trying to make sense of all that has happened and why.

I hope to start writing on here some more, but it's something I have to work through and that will open the door again. I am just so afraid of letting myself feel that pain again. But I am surviving each day. I am finding the mystery and grandness of it all again. But I just can't seem to let the dark inside of me go just yet.

Sometimes the dark is a great hiding place.

From Ellie's Crystal Links
We spend much of our time healing our wounds. We come to metaphysics for answers we cannot find in the world - for our souls know the truth is not in the physical.

Wounds are thought to be burned away by the sacred flame that ignite the spirit and the return of the Phoenix. One often speaks of buring off karmic ribbons and healing wounds with the Violet Flame.
Those healed become the healers...

But...can we become healers if we have not been wounded? It would seem that most healers have experienced great pain and suffering and are here to help others release their pain and create balance. The 'wounds' - of many lifetimes need to heal.... This is the spiritual pulse of the world grid.

But what happens when the Wounded Healer is healed and has had enough drama with healing? It is then they are shown the truth behind the illusion of reality.

Who is The Wounded Healer? Many articles and books have been written about 'The Wounded Healer.' It is the person who has gone through suffering, sometimes great, and as a result of that process has become a source of great wisdom, healing power and inspiration for others. In fact, the archetypal wounded healer undergoes a transformation as a result of their wound, their suffering and pain. They can actually transcend it, and successfully lead themselves to a path of service. It is as if the wound itself helps you drive yourself to an inner journey that becomes the transformation itself. One strips away the selfish, ego-based feeling of being all alone in our wound and expands to see others and how if one chooses a different role, one can help.

Many women who have survived breast cancer go on to lead support groups, sharing their counsel and experience in service to heal and help others.
    The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals. But when the doctor wears his personality like a coat of armor, he has no effect. - Carl Jung: Wounded Healer of the Soul.
Carl Jung's archetype of 'The Wounded Healer' originated with the Greek myth of Chiron who was physically wounded, and by way of overcoming the pain of his own wounds Chiron became the compassionate teacher of healing.

Contemporary psychotherapists latched on to the concept of this archetype and soon began to see themselves as 'The Wounded Healer' in their societies, whereby they use the pain of their own life experiences to facilitate the mental health and healing of others. 'The Wounded Healer' that Carl Jung was referring to, is the teacher who is able to self-empower others to trust themselves to the extent that they finally give themselves permission to FEEL that which has been too fearfully painful for the emotional body to cope with and FEEL.

It is only when the mental body has the opportunity to comprehend (create thoughts about) these FEELINGS, that the mental body is able to release belief systems that have created an old and worn out paradigm, which implies that the mental body should seek healing from outside of itself.

In astrology, Chiron, is called 'The Wounded Healer'. Since Chiron's discovery in 1977, at one time or another, the cosmic rock named Chiron has pretty much been called a - planet, planetoid, comet, and asteroid. Since Chiron is a relative newcomer to astronomy and astrology, having only been discovered by astronomers in 1977 - it's taken astrologers a while to begin getting a grasp on what effect (if any) Chiron has in the birth chart.

Chiron's orbit generally lies between Saturn and Uranus. So Chiron is sometimes described as a shamanistic bridge or link between time and space reality (the outer limit being Saturn) and the archetypal, generational, outer planets of Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.

In Greek mythology Chiron was a centaur. Centaurs were creatures who had a horse's body and legs, yet they had a human's torso and arms. As a rule, these half-horse, half-human Centaurs had the reputation for being wild and unbridled critters, being primarily known for their insatiable sexual appetites. They belonged to the wild Dionysian crowd.

For the most part, centaurs weren't exactly on very friendly terms with mortals. The centaur, Chiron, was the exception to this rule. Chiron was known as a wise teacher, healer and prophet. The Greek mythology encircling the figure of Chiron, 'The Wounded Healer,' is of great assistance in acquiring a deeper understanding of the energies reflected by the Chiron in our sky.

Astrologers may look at the Chiron placement for one's wounds. In the birth chart, Chiron reflects the archetypal energies of the shamanic wounded healer and teacher who potentially lives within each one of us. It reflects an accidental wounding we received most often in early childhood. This Chironian wounding is an injury to our instinctual nature and and a wounding of trust.

The wounding was generally brought about as the result of a stupid, careless, thoughtless accident.... so there is normally no one who can be blamed with purposely, intentionally, maliciously wounding us. The wounding was generally done by someone close to us...., someone we thought well of and trusted. So the wounding is a wounding of trust. Further, a Chironian wound is an injury that will never, ever totally heal. We learn, suffer and grow from dealing with this sensitive area of wounded instinct and trust.... but the wounding will never totally heal and go away. This Chironian wounding can then, later in life and after much personal struggle, become a special area where we can help others by sharing our healing and teaching powers with them.

We each have the ability and perseverance to go beyond our issues, our problems and troubles, and not have suffering label us as who we are. There are many men and women - probably in our daily lives - who are an inspiration and testimony to that.

Death and dying have been my companions for some time, actually, they helped me to realize that reality was not what I thought it was. But they are lessons indeed on learning to see in the dark.

My beloved Mother, Lucy, died of liver cancer a few years ago. By the time she let me know that she was sick, there was hardly any time left at all. I spent a short two weeks with her, trying so hard to nurse her and make her well. But it was way too late for that. She was in terrible pain and I made the decision to bring her to the hospital in an ambulance. When an artery ruptured in her liver and she began to choke on her own blood, I told the nurse to give her a morphine shot NOW! My Mother was afraid of shots and her last words to me were: I want you to watch me get this shot! I watched and she went to sleep and never woke up. But she left with a smile on her face.

I didn't think I could ever stop crying or missing her. I felt a huge guilt for not saving her, or not being a better daughter. Guilt became my companion for a long time.

I thought life would turn into some wonderful fairy tale in this year of "the grand revealing", but I was blindsided by a continual barrage of bad luck where it seemed we were on a downward spiral to hell. Add to this the loss of our children growing up and moving out and then to lose several of our beloved animal companions.

Asta was our little girl, who saved my husband's life, she came into our lives when he was very, very sick and she gave him his life back. She was born on Christmas Eve 2000, and we were so looking forward to celebrating her 12th birthday this Christmas. We lost her in July to cancer.

 And this was Asta's little boy, Sam. He died in September of cancer too. I didn't think I would ever be ok again or that I would ever stop crying. I still cry every single time I think of them but I am healing.

And learning to see in the dark. But dogs have many things to teach us. I have grieved and grieved more than I ever thought possible. These two doggies were just beautiful spirits who taught me love and what life is all about. Strangers, especially children would be drawn to me and these dogs. They loved everyone but they especially loved children and were wonderful teachers. I have since learned that sometimes, animals and dogs, especially, volunteer to die and go to heaven to help children who have lost their lives and are frightened of what has happened to them. When I was told this a huge weight was lifted from my heart and I know it is true. We have all heard the news story of the nanny stabbing the two children in her care, this story has been repeated in my area also with another two children stabbed to death. I know that evil does exist and is real. Now I know that love does exist here and in heaven and it will win. I can fully imagine that my angel dogs are helping to soothe broken hearts. Also this year my cousin had three of her horses killed by lightening. These were three female horses that were older and were used to help children with special needs. I think that the call went out that help was needed. I can only hope and pray that someday we humans will be as noble.

If you are wondering why the picture of Severus Snape as the lead in to this article - who knows more about death and loss than Severus.

"Look at me... you have your mother's eyes."
—Snape addresses Harry in the moment before his death  As Snape died, he asked Harry to look into his eyes; his last wish in his final moments was to die looking into the same green eyes that reminded him so much of Lily.
Severus Snape, death and loss

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